and i need to stop being a coward.

you need to understand
that to do this and feel this way,
this is the worst i’ve ever been hurt by anyone
and it is my own fault

i’m sorry for everything i’ve caused
in your cute january nights
with hands against you

and i’d sit with you on your pluto
so far away
and i’d be with you
and we’d watch the stars go by in reverse
and i’d hope this would never end

for fear, i’m afraid of escaping
what might happen
and i need to stop being a coward.
if it isn’t good enough for now,
for me not having been nice enough
for me not having the guts to spill to you
for me not having what i needed then

because for fear i can’t go twice the same path

and maybe one or two lucky
make it out okay
pressed on blotting paper
forever preserved
but not unchanged